Resiliency and Self-Respect Knows No
Bounds
“Anything
can happen to anybody at any time. But it’s what you do with the anything that makes the difference.” This was the message I gave when speaking to a
group of high school students recently. They were amazed by my story and many
questions were asked. But the two questions which kept coming up were, “What
kept you going?” and “What kept you from giving up?”
I
have reflected on these very questions over the past 17 years, and I recognize
that there are many tools in my Survivor’s tool kit which I call upon daily to
keep me on track, and keep these fake feet moving forward. And believe me; I use more than one of my
tools every day.
I have used time as a tool; time to grieve
my losses, and time to heal from them. I have used distance from the events
which have taken my life from me, stirred it all up, and dumped it out. And I
have used the tool of choice; the choice of picking up the pieces, putting
myself back together, and redefining who I am.
But
one of my biggest tools—one of my biggest “guns”—is resiliency. The ability to
bounce back no matter the circumstances is in part driven by my genetic
make-up, pure unadulterated
stubbornness. The other part comes from a much
deeper place, a place of respect, of self-respect.
I have been watching the Olympics lately—and
watching and watching. You could call me a fan, a groupie, addicted, and you
would get no argument here. I love the Olympic winter sports. There’s something
about watching men and women fling themselves down a mountain, or speeding at
80 MPH on solid ice with nothing between them and the ice, but a glorified
piece of fiber glass that excites and entertains me. But what I like watching and hearing about the
most are the back stories of the athletes themselves.
It’s not necessarily the medal winners that I like to watch and hear
from either. Although listening to the top three tell of their sacrifices, and
dedication, their training and devotion to their sport is
inspiring; it's the ones who don't win, the athletes who come in 21st, or 10th, or 4th who I appreciate most. They give me strength, because even
if they don’t make the podium, they don’t give up. I have not heard one of them
say, “I’m tired of trying,” or “I just can’t’ do it.” I have never heard any of
them say “I’m a loser.” They pick
themselves up, dust the snow or ice off, and keep going. They respect their
efforts, their sports and fellow athletes. But mostly, they respect themselves.
Through my constant vigilance to the
Olympics, I have come to understand that resiliency is driven by self-respect.
When you respect yourself, recovery is doable. “Never say die,” becomes your
motto
.
No one gets through this life unscathed. We all get our share of bumps and
bruises. We all fall from time to time. But it is the survivor who dusts the
snow off, who keeps skating along, even though the podium has become elusive
and the competition has ended. It is the survivor who will keep competing, and
falling, and picking themselves up, because they respect themselves too much to
let their losses get in the way of their living.
Survivors
know that losing is a temporary status and not a state of being. That even in
the midst of loss, they respect themselves and believe that they are winners. The
survivor understands that no matter what obstacles occur in their lives—whether
they appear within a matter of minutes or years—there is always a way to the
podium.